Maybe admitting more than I should

Yesterday - "Black Friday" - I stopped by Borders to pick up something, and was surprised to walk into a big group of people right when I entered the store. I saw a huge stack of Mistborns and other Brandon Sanderson books, and behind them a table with the author himself. Who is looking very much these days like Alan Rickman in Love Actually, but with darker hair:


I found a covert spot to spy from and decide whether or not to wait in line to say hello. But I was insecure already because I met him once when he was at our library signing books, and I was so excited to meet him that I was a babbling idiot and stammered out about how I just LOVED his books, blah blah, and basically walked away feeling completely stupid. So anyway, at Borders there were a whole four or five people in line, so I wussed and went on my way looking for my item, since I've already had enough humiliation in front of this guy to last me a couple of years. Plus a pushy salesman kept asking if I needed help while I was trying to scope out the whole situation, so I finally relented and had him look up my book on their inventory.

While I was waiting I said, "So is that really Brandon Sanderson over there?" He told me that it was and I smiled and said, "I'm a huge fan of his."

And this guy says to me, "Oh, have you read his books?"

...no, I'm just a HUGE fan of how much he looks like Alan Rickman right now, YES I'VE READ HIS BOOKS.

I didn't say that to him, but I'm pregnant and cranky and he's lucky I didn't. Thank you sweet grace that kept my mouth shut. I swear one of these days I'm going to lose control and some poor patron is going to get a crazy-pregnant-librarian-telling-off.

Brandon, I'm sorry, but is there some other reason that someone would be a huge fan? Are you an excellent air-hockey athlete? Maybe you turn ceramics when you're not writing? You've started your own line of graphic-imprinted designer jeans (a la Jon Gosselin)?

Anyway, there's no exciting conclusion to this story, I skulked out of the store without saying a word to Brandon Sanderson about how I think his work is brilliant or how cool his books are, and how I'm even so much of a dork that I want to buy a vial of allomantic metals from his website. Yeah. I admitted that one to my husband and the look he gave me pretty much stamped out that desire right there. Anyway, Brandon will be at Barnes and Noble in Orem on December 5th if I really start feeling any regrets... but I think I'm okay.


*In case you're wondering, "allomantic metals" are a major element from his Mistborn series, and the characters in the books carry around vials with the metals inside. So... you know, it's like wanting to carry around a "phaser" or wear Bajoran jewelry. Guh, please don't tell me you don't know what THOSE are either. Excuse me, I have to go crawl into a hole in the ground somewhere.

**My sister called and said I had to post a picture of what Brandon Sanderson REALLY looks like, because she and her husband know him. The whole reason I asked the Borders employee "is that really Brandon Sanderson?" is because he looked so different from the last time I saw him. Here he is, looking NOTHING like Alan Rickman:

This work originally uploaded to Wikimedia Commons by Nihonjoe

Did I mention I love the muppets?

Adrienne, I'm posting this for you, because you don't have tv.

I love the way miss piggy can really get a crowd moving.

Some Head-shakers

I had a teenage patron approach me today holding up one of our books and asking me, "Do you sell the books?"
I simply shook my head slowly and sadly at her and made a sympathetic face.
Do we sell the books? Do you even know what a library is? You can have it for FREE! It's really a very advantageous system, if you just know how it works. I would have explained it to her, but really, explaining how a library works? "You borrow the books and if you bring them back in a few weeks, it's all free." Really, I couldn't muster the words. Plus she walked away.

Last week a patron came up to me wearing a big coat and his head was covered with a hoodie. He asked me if we were open the next day, and I told him that yes we were, and he gave me this really annoyed look and said, "I can't HEAR you." I then noticed that he had two headphone earbuds coming out from his hoodie, obviously going into his ears and I wanted to say, "Well take out your earbuds, idiot." But I didn't. See? Evidence that I have exercised self-restraint.

Speaking of headphones, when I was working on the "quiet" floor two girls were sitting together at a computer chatting and giggling. I went over and asked if they could whisper. One girl looked up at me and said, "What?" Then she said "Oh," and pulled out one of her earbuds and looked at me. I asked again if she could whisper and she said okay... but seriously. You're on the quiet floor.... chatting... with earbuds in?

Not all of my stories are so distressing. Last week someone called and I answered the phone with my usual, "P___ Library, this is so-and-so, how can I help you?" A lady on the other end said, "Hi, I'm wondering if you have granny smith apples, and if so, how much?" My head was reeling with all of the possible responses that I could do, and I finally asked, "At the library?"
"Oh!... no," she said, "Do you have the number for Sunflower Market?"
See? She was just one step ahead in her thinking. That is understandable, and I could make the same mistake. But get annoyed with someone because I'm wearing earphones and I can't hear them? I hope that day never comes for me.

*I should add a disclaimer to say, okay, I really wouldn't mind explaining to someone how a library works, especially if they really didn't know. I'm a librarian after all. And there could have been more of a good reason for her to ask that... maybe she couldn't get a library card or she needed the book permanently for reference purposes. But I've never been asked if we sell the books before, I had to have some fun with it.

Gift ideas anyone?

I couldn't resist re-posting this from Awful Library Books.

Mission Impossible

Dilemma:
You teach a blogging class at the local library. The class is tonight, but your boss tells you the internet is down for the rest of the day, but the class is still going ahead as scheduled.

Your mission:
You have 1 and 1/2 hours to build a new 1-hour curriculum still based on blogging WITHOUT using the internet. Go.



So when I was something like 12 years old I lived in San Diego, and I was lonely (frowny face). So one day my brother came to visit and I asked him how his college classes were going. He told me that he learned how to make web pages, and I asked him how. He realized that he could show me how to do a few simple things on my computer.

So he had me open up Notepad (of all programs!) and showed me how to save a web page file right on my computer. Then he taught me little html codes that I could type in, and when I opened it in Internet Explorer - voila! Italics! Underlining! Titles and headlines! Images and links! Oh, I felt so special.

When I got to high school and there was a web page creation class I thought, "Awesome, I'm practically a pro already." So I took the class and learned how to do even MORE stuff and create even fancier pages - like with borders and dancing images, the best 1999 had to offer!

Then I got to college, and it turns out some of that dinky "web experience" meant that I could do little odd jobs at my brother's office. So I did that, and I learned how to do more and more and more... with a lot of help. And then I flexed my web-page-creating muscles and felt so powerful, mwa ha ha!

And then one day I had to teach a class on blogging with NO internet. And I remembered those very early days when I was just typing in puny html codes on my computer and watching them come to life in Internet Explorer - without actually needing to use the internet.

And that's how I figured out how to teach a WHOLE HOUR of blogging with no internet connection.

*bow*


(Some notes if you feel like you need some explanation: understanding even very basic html codes can help you understand blogging better. Most of the time Blogger.com creates html code for you, but knowing what html code looks like and how it works can help you to fix problems, edit things, and even add code from other websites - like adding videos from YouTube. VERY handy. By the end of tonight's class, my students could recognize what the code looks like when Blogger adds an image for you, and the knew how to move it around or add text before and after. They also knew how to tell the difference between what code looks like for an image, what it looks like for a link, and even what it looks like for something big like a YouTube video. I was so proud.)

I really do fantasize about this

I know. I know if you know me and you've ever seen my office you're eyebrows are up right now and you're like, "THIS is your fantasy?" But it totally is. I fantasize about having everything in clear plastic boxes lined up neatly on shelves that span the entire wall. With LABELS. And I would totally dance around like that, even PREGNANT, if that's what my office looked like.

**Deep sigh**

Blogging Class

Tonight we started another 7-week series of the blogging class at my library... which I'm teaching. So needless to say now that tonight's class is over, my hands are swollen and I'm still a little shaky.

Can I just tell you how baffling it is for me, how utterly confusing and startling it is, when people laugh at my jokes? I think I must react like a surprised animal, snapping my head back and looking from side to side trying to figure out what's going on. I just don't feel like a funny person - I think I assume that when people I'm talking to one-on-one laugh, they are being polite and saving me the humiliation of just staring at me when I make a joke (thank you, people). But in a classroom situation, you are one of a group, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do (and believe me, people don't... the phrase, "Please wait until everyone catches up" is useless in a large group). So it's startling when not just one, but SEVERAL people start chuckling and I realize it's in response to me. Nothing freaks me out more. And I mean that in the best possible way. Pleasantly baffled, you could call me.

We had 19 people there tonight. When I taught the blogging series last time, I had a grand total of 8 people through all of the classes. This is 10 people more. And there were CHILDREN. (Actually they did awesome, and supported my theory that maturity is higher in children than young adults). But it all went well. No one glared at me or threw anything or walked out, and that has to equal success, right?