Maybe admitting more than I should

Yesterday - "Black Friday" - I stopped by Borders to pick up something, and was surprised to walk into a big group of people right when I entered the store. I saw a huge stack of Mistborns and other Brandon Sanderson books, and behind them a table with the author himself. Who is looking very much these days like Alan Rickman in Love Actually, but with darker hair:


I found a covert spot to spy from and decide whether or not to wait in line to say hello. But I was insecure already because I met him once when he was at our library signing books, and I was so excited to meet him that I was a babbling idiot and stammered out about how I just LOVED his books, blah blah, and basically walked away feeling completely stupid. So anyway, at Borders there were a whole four or five people in line, so I wussed and went on my way looking for my item, since I've already had enough humiliation in front of this guy to last me a couple of years. Plus a pushy salesman kept asking if I needed help while I was trying to scope out the whole situation, so I finally relented and had him look up my book on their inventory.

While I was waiting I said, "So is that really Brandon Sanderson over there?" He told me that it was and I smiled and said, "I'm a huge fan of his."

And this guy says to me, "Oh, have you read his books?"

...no, I'm just a HUGE fan of how much he looks like Alan Rickman right now, YES I'VE READ HIS BOOKS.

I didn't say that to him, but I'm pregnant and cranky and he's lucky I didn't. Thank you sweet grace that kept my mouth shut. I swear one of these days I'm going to lose control and some poor patron is going to get a crazy-pregnant-librarian-telling-off.

Brandon, I'm sorry, but is there some other reason that someone would be a huge fan? Are you an excellent air-hockey athlete? Maybe you turn ceramics when you're not writing? You've started your own line of graphic-imprinted designer jeans (a la Jon Gosselin)?

Anyway, there's no exciting conclusion to this story, I skulked out of the store without saying a word to Brandon Sanderson about how I think his work is brilliant or how cool his books are, and how I'm even so much of a dork that I want to buy a vial of allomantic metals from his website. Yeah. I admitted that one to my husband and the look he gave me pretty much stamped out that desire right there. Anyway, Brandon will be at Barnes and Noble in Orem on December 5th if I really start feeling any regrets... but I think I'm okay.


*In case you're wondering, "allomantic metals" are a major element from his Mistborn series, and the characters in the books carry around vials with the metals inside. So... you know, it's like wanting to carry around a "phaser" or wear Bajoran jewelry. Guh, please don't tell me you don't know what THOSE are either. Excuse me, I have to go crawl into a hole in the ground somewhere.

**My sister called and said I had to post a picture of what Brandon Sanderson REALLY looks like, because she and her husband know him. The whole reason I asked the Borders employee "is that really Brandon Sanderson?" is because he looked so different from the last time I saw him. Here he is, looking NOTHING like Alan Rickman:

This work originally uploaded to Wikimedia Commons by Nihonjoe

Did I mention I love the muppets?

Adrienne, I'm posting this for you, because you don't have tv.

I love the way miss piggy can really get a crowd moving.

Some Head-shakers

I had a teenage patron approach me today holding up one of our books and asking me, "Do you sell the books?"
I simply shook my head slowly and sadly at her and made a sympathetic face.
Do we sell the books? Do you even know what a library is? You can have it for FREE! It's really a very advantageous system, if you just know how it works. I would have explained it to her, but really, explaining how a library works? "You borrow the books and if you bring them back in a few weeks, it's all free." Really, I couldn't muster the words. Plus she walked away.

Last week a patron came up to me wearing a big coat and his head was covered with a hoodie. He asked me if we were open the next day, and I told him that yes we were, and he gave me this really annoyed look and said, "I can't HEAR you." I then noticed that he had two headphone earbuds coming out from his hoodie, obviously going into his ears and I wanted to say, "Well take out your earbuds, idiot." But I didn't. See? Evidence that I have exercised self-restraint.

Speaking of headphones, when I was working on the "quiet" floor two girls were sitting together at a computer chatting and giggling. I went over and asked if they could whisper. One girl looked up at me and said, "What?" Then she said "Oh," and pulled out one of her earbuds and looked at me. I asked again if she could whisper and she said okay... but seriously. You're on the quiet floor.... chatting... with earbuds in?

Not all of my stories are so distressing. Last week someone called and I answered the phone with my usual, "P___ Library, this is so-and-so, how can I help you?" A lady on the other end said, "Hi, I'm wondering if you have granny smith apples, and if so, how much?" My head was reeling with all of the possible responses that I could do, and I finally asked, "At the library?"
"Oh!... no," she said, "Do you have the number for Sunflower Market?"
See? She was just one step ahead in her thinking. That is understandable, and I could make the same mistake. But get annoyed with someone because I'm wearing earphones and I can't hear them? I hope that day never comes for me.

*I should add a disclaimer to say, okay, I really wouldn't mind explaining to someone how a library works, especially if they really didn't know. I'm a librarian after all. And there could have been more of a good reason for her to ask that... maybe she couldn't get a library card or she needed the book permanently for reference purposes. But I've never been asked if we sell the books before, I had to have some fun with it.