Oh holy crap. That is the freakiest looking spider ever. And it's in my house. Look at him go. There's no way I'm touching that thing. I have a strict no-touching-spiders-with-fur policy. But I can't just let him free to run through my house and attack me when I'm sleeping.
I should get Michael. But he's asleep, and I really don't want to wake him up (he's sick and needs his sleep). But I can't let this thing remain free. Maybe I can just watch him for a couple of hours until Michael wakes up? No, that won't work, I'm already starting to feel nauseous. I should just squish it.
Uh... That spider looks like the kind that could jump 20 feet right onto my jugular. Or the kind that's secretly built with internal fangs so if you squish him, he gets his last revenge by injecting you with poison from his secret fang. Definitely a secret fang spider. This is a job for Michael.I need some sort of containment system.
Perfect.But what if Michael wakes up and comes in here to do the dishes, and unwittingly lifts up the cup and is immediately set upon by the jugular-jump of death?
Brilliant.
9 comments:
Oh and just in case anyone wants to tell me it's a black widow:
The common black spider with a red spot on its back is the Jumping Spider. It is somewhat fuzzy. The Jumping Spider is about 1/8 - 3/4 inches long, very hairy, stocky built, and short-legged. Some are black with spots of orange or red on the back. At first it looks like a Black Widow Spider. The Black Widow, however, has a red hourglass shape underneath on the belly and has longer legs.
We had a black widow living in our window well one summer. The red hourglass was clearly visible from the inside of the window. Ryan wanted to keep it alive as a scientific experience for the kids. I said, "hell no!" I could totally picture little baby black widows crawling in through those mysterious holes in my house that all spiders seem to find. I gave it a week and then sprayed the crap out of it.
You are brilliant, Bre. But, do you have that long of conversations with yourself regularly?
Don't you?
LOL, 'Scary Spider', clearly labeled for your convenience.
Kathy simply vacuumes them up - of course one never knows what they do in the vacuum bag.
Uh, yeah, holy crap is right! I loved your thought process...totally witty and hilarious!
I think women and children need to take a five-minute course called, "how to squish a spider". I'm happy to teach it but I'd rather keep them around as science experiments.
This immediatly made me think of all the spider bags left in registration. Good call with the sign, there is nothing worse than stumbling across an unlabed container with a spider.
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