I wasn't going to say anything. I was just going to let it slide by, because this year I don't particularly like this holiday. I didn't even wear green. But what happened when I was closing the library merits a post.
Three patrons were left on my floor, and I headed over to encourage them to get a move on. As I approached, one of them saw me and started a friendly banter:
Guy #1: "Well, you guys must not like massage studies very much!"
Me, thinking this was an odd thing to say: "What?"
Guy #1: "You know, massage studies!" He then pointed to his shirt bearing the logo for a local college of massage therapy.
Me: "Oh! Because you go to ***** College of Massage Therapy. I get it."
Guy #2: "Yeah! You know, so you guys must not like therapeutic massage studies very much if you're kicking us out."
Me, understanding that while this is very weird, they are still being friendly which I can appreciate: "Haha... well, I don't discriminate... them's the rules."
Guy #2, suddenly eyeing my body in a strange way and taking a few steps towards me, "Heyyyyyy! You're not wearing any green, are you? Am I gonna have to?..."
Me, backing away and stuttering out, "OH, well, you know, actually, there's this rule about.... " (here I am thinking frantically for something that sounds official) "librarian-patron... confidentiality."
All three laugh, thankfully. Guy #1 comes to my rescue by recounting how he used to be a government employee, and that any aggressive act or threat towards a government employee is an arrestable offense. I have NO IDEA if this is true or not, but am nodding and smiling in an apologetic way at Guy #2.
Guy #2, to my intense relief: "Okay, then. I'm sending you a mental pinch. And sometime, somehow, you're gonna feel it."
All in all, a St. Patrick's Day fiasco nearly averted. Though I will probably have to undergo counseling for unblocked memories of Patty's Day pinchings in grade school. (P.S. Probably the most wonderful thing a mother could ever do for her child is to make sure they are wearing something green when they head to school on this holiday. Possibly more important than feeding your children)