I torture my husband in his sleep. Because he's so fun to mess with when his defenses are down. Mostly I just like getting him to tell me that he loves me when he's not even really conscious, that does a lot for my ego. Sometimes he talks nonsense in his sleep (last week he congratulated me on my "big account," whatever that means). But today I didn't expect that he would torture me in his sleep!
He went shooting yesterday with my brother and brother-in-law. How very virile they all are. (I am going to make them take me next time and I will make sure to wear heels and something pink). Anyway, I found Michael asleep on the couch this morning, and was trying to shoo him into the bedroom so he could sleep comfortably. Suddenly he said:
"You would make good target practice."
My response: "WHAT!"
My shriek didn't wake him up, and I kept pestering him, because I wanted this cleared up right away.
The only other things I got from him were, "Why don't you just read it."
Me: "Read what??"
Him: "The statements."
He was incoherent after that. I said very seriously,
"You do know you are talking nonsense, right?"
He had the sensible presence of mind to look sheepish in his sleep.